IF YOU THINK MOMS IN PRIUSES ARE SMUG,
you should see me roll on up to preschool pickup on my bicycle.
Have some fun.
Grabbing Life

“There’s a man driving a convertible Mustang and blaring Prince’s “1999” and there’s not a doubt in my mind that he’s grabbing life by the balls.”


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Fancy Coffee

“I was at kind of a fancy coffee place, and I pointed at the foam milk heart they’d made on my latte and said to the woman next to me, “See? This is why we pay the extra two dollars!” She nodded and looked a little off-put – and then I realized that not only had I cackled loudly when I said that, the arm that I had used for my flourish of a gesture was covered in cat hair.”


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These Pants

“I caught myself wondering if my ass looks good in these pants before remembering that I don’t owe anyone my ass looking good in these pants.”


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